


Trouble Comes in All Sizes

by DarthUmbreon (SperoDeoVolente)



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Christmas Eve, Clever Dragons, Family, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Match Making Dragons, Noodles, Premature baldness, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, Werewolf Jesse McCree
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-23 11:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9655502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SperoDeoVolente/pseuds/DarthUmbreon
Summary: Hanzo's small, cute dragons steal things. There's a system in place to get back what they steal. Lucio learns exactly how this exchange happens. McCree fears baldness.Now includes more adventures of Werewolf McCree, tiny troublesome match making noodle dragons, and ugly holiday sweaters.





	1. Jesse's Trade

**Author's Note:**

> The first version of this I typed up in an art stream for FamousArtPotato. Yup. Sometimes I will gift mini fics to people at random. This is one such an example. They've done art of Werewolf McCree and Hanzo's smol noodles on Tumblr. I decided to type it up proper, and post it here for others to enjoy.
> 
> I updated this because I know my buddy Famoustartpotato is having a hard time. I figured a sequel to the cute fic I wrote for him would help make a dreary time less gray. :3
> 
> Noodle dragons that act like ferrets 100% intentional!

Trouble comes in many shapes and sizes. In this particular instance, trouble is made double, only pint sized. Two sets of eyes glitter like gemstones from under the common room sofa. Just a minute previous, Hanzo’s dragons had stolen Lucio’s watch from a kitchen counter. Just forty-three seconds and the valuable time piece vanished.  

It had been Lucio’s day to cook, and while he was chopping carrots, one of the dragons begged for food. Only Hanzo can resist the puppy eyes of the light dragon. Of course, while one was successfully begging, his brother stole the watch. Lucio heard the noise, but he wasn’t fast enough to catch the small dragon in time to save his watch. Add insult to injury, the other dragon ate the carrot he had been chopping. Complete chaos caused in under a minute. As his back was turned from the cutting board, the other dragon stuffed its cheeks full of carrots, grabbed what wasn’t cut, and took off in the opposite direction.

"So, how do I get my watch back from those things?" Lucio motions with his hand at the at the smug looking dragons. One of them sticks a snot out from under the sofa, tiny smirk clearly visible. Before anyone can even step within grabbing range, it vanishes back into the labyrinth of furniture. His gaze flicks over to a Hanzo, who is resting his face in his palm.

"Ask McCree for help." Hanzo points towards McCree who is busy doing a crossword at a nearby table. There’s no point in _him_ trying to salvage the watch. It’s winter, and McCree isn't shedding. His dragons want one thing, and one thing only - fur from McCree’s wolf form.

"Darlin'? You need something?" McCree looks up, he heard Hanzo speak his name. There are two sure ways to catch McCree’s attention. The sound of Hanzo’s voice is one, and the other is when something is on fire.

"My dragons stole something. You're needed." Hanzo just sighs, then walks over to McCree whose head droops a bit in defeat. Hat settles down low, obscuring his vision. This it the six time this week they've pulled this stunt this week. At this rate, he’ll be bald! Why must the little dragons desire his fur so badly?

"What can McCree do?" Lucio inquires, his hand rubbing the spot where his favorite watch usually rests. There’s nothing accusatory in his tone, only curiosity.

"I'll give them something in exchange for it. I'll meet you here later tonight. I need to prepare." McCree tucks his pencil in his hat, before putting away his crossword puzzle. Something has to be done before he's bald. How can he strut and impress his mate, if he lacks a full coat of fur? He walks out of the room, with Hanzo glued to his side, murmuring soft apologies in his ear.

Later that night, Lucio is waiting in the common room. McCree and Hanzo arrive exactly at the agreed time. In one hand is a small basket full of tawny fur. Both dragons, affectionately called ‘noodles’ by the majority of Overwatch, stop chewing on their toys when they spot the basket. Small eyes grow very wide.They scamper over to McCree and start bobbing their heads up and down rapidly. One of them, from somewhere, pulls out a small nut and offers it.

McCree puts down a piece of fur, and the grabs the nut. The dragons start chittering, and the bobbing increases. There’s a calculating glint in those tiny eyes. Small sized or not, they’re fiercely intelligent. McCree is thankful that they’re on his side, because he wouldn’t want to face them in battle. Hanzo seems to sense his inner turmoil, and gives him a slight smile. His hand snakes around McCree’s waist, squeezing gently.

"Lucio, come here for a moment." Hanzo motions with one hand, the other firmly wrapped around McCree's waist. Once Lucio is next to Hanzo, he looks down the small blue dragons. Who are both bobbing their heads up and down, chittering nonstop, eyes not leaving the basket.

"Show them your wrist, and then ask for your watch." Hanzo snaps his fingers, then takes the basket from McCree, hiding it behind his back. They both stop moving, going silent. Small eyes focus intently on Hanzo. They know the drill.

Then the dragons turn look at Lucio. One of them licks his wrist, before chattering at his twin. The twin nods, before dashing off down a hallway. Not even ten minutes later, it comes running back with the watch held up high by its tail.It stops at Hanzo’s feet, and chitters. The twin chitters as well, voices going shrill. The watch is not set down. They stare expectantly at McCree, eyes appearing to be dilated with anticipation.

"Why am I not surprised they want tail fur." McCree mutters, voice a mixture of resigned and amused. Instead of reaching for the basket, he reaches into a back pocket. Out comes a ball of large, soft brown fur. The dragons freeze, eyes wide.

McCree doesn't set down the fur until the watch is in his hand. Then he hands them the fur, and they scream joyfully, voices reaching levels humans can't hear. Thanks to being a were, McCree can hear them. Whatever they’re saying is well beyond human hearing ranges. Thankfully, they rarely get that high. McCree winces, but doesn't leave Hanzo's side.They take off with the fur, cries of glee echoing loudly. They turn down a hallway opposite to the one where McCree and Hanzo share a room.

"At least we'll have some privacy to night." McCree says, rubbing the back of his head. He pauses, a thought coming to him."They're not doing this just to get us together are they?"

 

 

 

 

  
[Noodles Collecting Fur](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/famousartpotato/156072273482)

 


	2. Jesse's Lament

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse laments his relationship with Hanzo and baldness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to write more Werewolf McCree and his never-ending trouble with Hanzo's noodle dragons.

“No! I mean it,” Jesse snarls at the two tiny dragons. Their gem like eyes widened right before both of them dropped their heads low. Snouts touched the ground and they slumped flat onto the table before they curled into dejected balls. Jesse sighed and rubbed his beard. Stupid dragons looked like kicked puppies! Guilt tugged at his heart. Why? Why him? There were other fuzzy werewolves that answered the recall! Yet, the two pint sized noodles wanted his fur! No one else suffered the indignity of being plucked bald.

  
“Don't give me that! Y’all both know I can't give you anymore fur,” Jesse shifted just enough so he had his tail and ears. One hand held up his tail. Near the end of his tail was a large bald spot. Plucked bald to provide fur in exchange for stolen objects. He pointed to the bald area. “See that? I'm going bald because of you little pests.”

  
Both dragons perked up at the sight of the fluffy tail. In unison they both leapt for it. Jesse let out a yip and yanked his tail out of reach. Target not where they expected it to be both little blue noodles missed. Their tiny bodies kept going forward and they tumbled off the the edge of his desk scattering paperwork in their dash.

  
“Eeeeeeeek,” one managed to yell in fear. Its twin didn't make a sound but rather flailed its limbs for anything to grab onto. The only thing in range was its twin It clung to their twin as both dragons fell. “Eeeeeeeek!”

  
“Pests,” Jesse grumbled as he reached out with his werewolf reflexes to catch the noodles before they hit the floor. Both of them gripped his metal arm tight enough to scratch the surface with their claws. They quickly wrapped around his arm and chirped and chittered loudly. They gazed at him with an emotion that might be called loving adoration if he didn't know better.

  
The fall wouldn't hurt the dragons, Jesse had them take hits powerful enough to topple buildings and not have a scratch. He lifted the noodles that clutched his metal arm with up to eye level. Risk of premature baldness aside he liked the dragons. Anything that frightened them he found upsetting.

  
Hell, he wasted over twenty hours, some of his fur, and a hundred bucks knitting the damned noodles sweaters because they were afraid of going outside the Watchpoint on freezing winter days. They wore out the sweaters he knitted within a week. Damned critters had wormed their way into his heart. Jesse found himself making the little dragons sweaters made from alpaca wool and his own fluff at least once a week.

  
Between his making sure they were properly outfitted for the cold and their constant kleptomaniac tendencies he was going bald! Hanzo wouldn't ever fall in love with him at this rate! He huffed at his own foolishness. Jesse’s other hand reached into one of many desk drawers. He fished around until he felt the two new sweaters he made the noodles.

  
Special Christmas sweaters, extra tacky, just for the little dragons. Jesse wouldn't admit even to himself how much time he spent on the details to make sure it was obvious that these were tacky holiday wear. Jesse sewed on sparkly snowflakes and tiny silver bells. Each blue and green sweater had tiny reindeer pulling a sleigh as a design painstakingly knitted in full detail. Silver bells sewn onto the sleigh and reindeer harnesses with sparkly snowflakes all over. Exactly like a human tacky sweater only made small. Gabriel made him one every year and taught him how to knit his own sweaters. He wondered why he bothered and a memory surfaced.

  
‘Why,’ Jesse asked as held up the large red and green sweater with the words BAMF in large bold print on the front and back. It was Christmas Eve, his first with Overwatch as a member of Blackwatch.

  
‘Because you’re family now kid,’ Gabriel replied with a grin. His arms crossed over his chest. Gabriel wore a black sweater sporting a snowman holding a surfboard.

  
‘We all suffer them, Jesse,’ Jack explained from Gabriel’s side, one arm wrapped around the Blackwatch Commanders’s waist as he pointed to the sweater he wore. It was blue with drunk dancing reindeer.

  
‘As ugly as they are,’ Ana piped up as she walked over from a different group of Overwatch members. She wore a yellow sweater that sported a cat wearing a Santa hat. Fareeha was by her side wearing a matching sweater. ‘Gabriel makes them warm and with love. You’re truly a member of our family if you get one.’

  
‘Merry Christmas Jesse,’ Angela replied from behind him. She too wore a tacky sweater, a white one with a golden angel on the front.

  
‘Thank you,’ Jesse whispered both arms hugged the sweater against his chest.

  
Jesse knew why he bothered. No one knew that he was the culprit behind dressing the noodles in sweaters. Jesse kept quiet about his efforts, never admitting that he made the sweaters and put them on the dragons. It wasn't an effort to impress Hanzo! No, it was a labor of love so the stupid things wouldn't freeze to death when they went outside.

  
They were dragons and they didn't care for him. Not like they did with Hanzo. Like their master Hanzo, they only kept him around because he was useful. Not because of love. Jesse knew that and he hated it. He knew that he loved the damned noodles like family. That was why he bothered even though they didn't understand or care about Jesse McCree. Meanwhile, his courtship of the elder Shimada seemed to be ending in failure. The noodles were going to make him bald. No wonder Hanzo ditched their date yesterday! No one wanted to been seen in public with a bald werewolf!

  
Jesse looked at the noodles then at the large bald area. Stupid tail would form the moment he spotted Hanzo and start to wag. Nothing he did could hide the ugly bare area on his tail. One moment he thought he was getting somewhere with Hanzo in their relationship. Then for no reason Jesse could determine, Hanzo would get cold and distant. His ears went low against his skull and he glared at them. He set the new sweaters on the edge of his desk.

  
“No. More. Fur. I need to be as handsome as possible to win Hanzo’s love. I can't do that if I'm bald,” Jesse explained his eyebrows narrowed to a sharp vee. A frown came to his lips and his ears went tighter against his skull.

  
The two minuscule blue dragons went silent. They looked at Jesse gem like eyes glittering with an inner light. They looked at their new sweaters and started to chitter loudly. He lowered his arm low to the desktop surface. First one slowly unwrapped from his arm and let go. Then its twin followed.

  
They turned around and stared at him. In silent harmony they bobbed their heads up and down at him before they stretched out in a neat line and held perfectly still. Before they decided to be mobile mini banditos once more, Jesse slipped on the sweaters over their heads. His hands gently adjusted the sweaters to rest comfortably on each dragon. His ears slowly straightened as he pulled the sweaters onto each dragon. After he was done they climbed down from his desk and ran off the sounds of jingling bells followed each leaping bound they made.

  
“Why do I bother? They don't understand or care, greedy little monsters. Next thing I know they'll be back with another stolen object,” Jesse lamented before he went the world had formed.drunk No one wanted to be seen in public with a bald werewolf! He knew why he bothered but he didn't plan on saying it. He didn't need too, it went unspoken that family was taken care of. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter entirely on the mobile app for Scrivener.

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all should be nice to FamouseArtPotato on Tumblr, they're awesome.  
> The art that goes with this fic is found on FamousArtPotatos Blog
> 
> Y'all can also find me at my primary Tumblr, [Spero Deo Volente](https://sperodeovolente.tumblr.com) or my mostly untouched secondary Tumblr, [Avery Wordsmith](https://averywordsmith.tumblr.com).


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